In Which WorldSpace Should Pay Me For Promoting Them...

"There's something to be said for music: it has the amazing ability to make people bond. Be it Aerosmith (my mother particularly likes re-enacting the "Dude Looks Like a Lady" dance with the vacuum cleaner, a la Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire), or Prodigy ( my sweet, 50-plus dad headbanging away to "Smack My Bitch Up") or even the Backstreet Boys (i've told my little brother I'll disown him if he tells anyone he listens to boybands and is related to me), music appeals to anyone and everyone, be they possessed of discerning taste or not. Me, I relax with the dulcet tones of Metallica and Switchfoot and Incubus and, when i'm lucky, Eminem. Or wait, actually, I think the only thing we bond over is yelling to each other: "Turn the bloody volume down!" Sheesh. Parents. Do they have to blast the Marilyn Manson quite so loud?

No, but blatant name-dropping aside, this WorldSpace thingy is a stroke of sheer unadulterated genius, and to everyone out there who does not possess one: what are you waiting for, you poor sod? Go get it! 40 channels of music to suit every palate. So one second you could be listening to "Kandukondain kandukondain,", the next it could be "Tanhayee" and then "Donde Quieras yo ire" and subsequently "Unbreak my heart." I totally lack pride in my country's contribution to the world of music, and I suffer little to no shame about it...I firmly stick to the 12 channels allocated to rock, hip-hop, r&b, country, electronica, pop, chartbusters and international hits (I can't help it..."I want to kiss your bellybutton" sounds a million times better in Spanish than in Malayalam).

And, okay, there are news channels too, but who needs gloom and doom when Beyonce's talking about being a naughty girl? Still, for those who feel the need to be well-informed at any given nanosecond ,there are umm...I think...six news channels, all droning on about world affairs, so enjoy being clued in! And yes, that includes up-to-the-minute scores for every concievable sport that's being played out there, so all you cricket/football/hockey/ice-hockey/baseball/volleyball/basketball/women's-beach-volleyball fans, go get your jollies.

And what's best about WorldSpace Radio? Entertainment value: at the end of a long tiring day, I come home to see my grouchy 110-kilo maid doing the ironing and blissfully wobbling and shaking her groove thang to Daft Punk. Ah, bless music."

So, I wrote the above piece of ass-kissing a few months ago. My maid has since left (tossed out by my mom for the 289th and final time), and the only one wobbling and shaking her groove thang is me.

I HATE ironing. Hmph.